Sunday, December 6, 2009

How My SmoothiePro 600 ™ Saved Christmas

You know the drill; it’s the same every year. You finally get the tree wrestled into submission and mostly straight, and it’s time to start on the lights. Dig out the box from the back of the closet. Put all the stuff that was covering the Christmas box back into the closet. Wrangle the box to the tree. Return to the closet to remove the cat. Dig the other cat out of the Christmas box. Dig the lights out of the box and start untangling them. Remove the cat toy from the Christmas lights. Remove the cat from the Christmas lights.

Plug in the lights to make sure they work. Swear and stomp around looking for the replacement bulbs that you’ve been saving “in a safe place” for the past three years because you knew you’d need them eventually. Replace the bulb, lights are all plugged in and strewn across the floor, blinking merrily, and now you’re ready to start trimming.

Look at the tree.

Look at the lights strewn across the floor.

Look back at the 9 foot tree.

Look at the lights strewn across the floor, taunting you with their Christmas cheer as you flash back to last year when you almost cancelled Christmas after fighting with the tree and everyone in the house while trying to get those damned lights on.


Okay, I need a tool, right? There has to be something, somewhere. I start rifling through the kitchen drawers.

“What are you looking for?” queries Dave.

“I don’t know!”

“Well,” the ever helpful Dave continues, “what do you need it to do?”

“Make world peace, dammit!” yes, I get testy when frustrated.

“AHA!” I return triumphantly from the kitchen.

“Um, what are you going to do with that??”

Okay I’ll be honest, this looks a little, well, phallic to me, but it’s really just the plunger for the smoothie maker.

Wrap the lights (plug end first) around the plunger and then it’s a simple walk around the tree!

Yeah, yeah, I know there are probably tools you can buy to do this, or even better tools people have laying around the house, but it works.

The tree is all decked out in lights, and the cats weren’t even tempted to help. They mostly just supervised.


(I should point out that Dave and I have a deal. He puts up the tree, I string the lights, we put the ornaments on it together. I do not want help (!!) with stringing the lights! It makes me grumpy lol.)

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